Can’t even call this sensation, lust.
I feel nothing at all,
only the reek of blood and dust.
I recall begrudging my emotions
but nursed the one I lent from another.
I have lost my worth
and sustained the hurt.
Now, I have found myself in a debtors’ prison.
I have both knees on the ground,
hands beseeching mercy all the time
Feeding off residual love like a pet,
whose owner returns from a blissful quest.
I am distraught! Goodness, I am wrecked!
I brought this ill upon myself.
Jumped in one-eyed
consequently, turned blind.
I fed on rented love,
and its fee wound me up in a debtors’ prison.
Like a ship, I am berthed in a habour of uncertainties;
feeling fear,
shedding tears,
craving saneness,
surviving nothingness.
Hoping that things will change
but all I have are chains around my sanity,
an unshaven face,
a flogged back,
stained conscience
and a broken soul.
To appease the will of my master in this debtors’ prison.
How did I accrue this much debt?
How many years am I destined to toil?
How long were you instructed to keep me as your prisoner, Jailor?
How much did my master say I owe?
For I do not intend to pacify this debt with my life
nor forgo my dignity for what it’s worth.
I shall rise on my feet and fight with my teeth.
Sourcing strength from the debris of our timeworn photos,
The ones you left out here in this pit!
But I will survive,
I will earn freedom.
It shan’t be long,
before I find dough,
to repay my master’s due.
Inside the traumatic walls of this prison,
Seated next to persons who owed eternal bills with justifiable reasons,
I wondered why the only thing I ever owed anyone was - LOVE
Atsu Dogbey
TDL.
