‘MEN’ OF THE HOME EXPERIENCING REALITY- MOTHER

A mother’s love is what we call it, a love that knows no boundaries when it pertains to the well-being of her children. A mother shares a God-given bond with her children and the umbilical cord is but a physical representation of this unbreakable bond. This love does not discriminate between her truly-born child and an adopted child or in some rare cases her step-child, as she continually ransoms her pleasure to instill the right set of values in them. It is true that a man is the financial pillar of family but as he boastfully says “I take care of my children because it is my responsibility”, a mother will however soothingly whisper to herself “I do all these because I love them”.

 “Nine months is easy!!” “You just have to push and that’s all it takes!!” they say. Women mock at these statements because they are mindful that experience is the best teacher and men will never grow wombs to carry a child making their efforts unappreciated. Mothers go through sleepless nights of child fostering, appetite loss, lonely hours at night rocking the child to sleep, long prayers targeted at the child’s success and safety among other things. For every mother, it is always her children against the world. It explains why a woman single-handedly manages a home as she caters for her children even in the absence of a man either by rejection, divorce or death. Even as we celebrate mothers, I will want to share with you an intriguing story of a young writer Donn, who in writing a mother’s day message expressed his actual feelings about the day in an interesting piece with a rather captivating caption ‘ A charade called mother’s day ’ He wrote;

As I write this piece I wish I could tell a lie. Tell you how my mother is the best mother that ever walked the earth. Tell you how we are two peas in a pod. Tell you about all the love we shared. No! My conscience would not let me. I think we are all tired of hearing this lovey-dovey story in the media and on-line. I want to tell the other side of love. The side that still holds on when all hope is lost. When the fights reach a crescendo, when you are at loggerheads with your mother for a whole year and still she performs her duties to you, or should I call them responsibilities. Let me tell you how my love affair with my mother began, I spent ten months in my mother’s belly. It should tell you that from the onset my mother knew that I would be a little different from my siblings. I was born on a Wednesday like my dad, so there was the thrill of having a baby the same day as her husband (my dad). I spent my formative years with my mum so I generally have a bond with her as compared to my father. Very early in life I felt that I wasn’t really adored by either parent as my siblings were. So naturally I felt that since I wasn’t anybody’s favorite I could at least be a favorite of myself. I virtually clung to the “love” of my colleagues and friends and their approval meant much more to me, to the chagrin of my mother. You see, since my dad passed on I have learnt the bitter lesson of loving someone despite their faults.

Let me digress a bit, I had a much worse relationship with my dad as compared to my mum. We went months on end without saying a word to each other. But on his last days on earth I felt much remorse and guilt, not the type you feel when you steal from your mum or tell a holy lie but the type you feel when you hurt someone whose hands ends up in a cast (p.o.p.) after playing soccer as an innocent kid. Believe you me, now I know better . . . I really do not feel like telling a lie tonight but you know what been honest is quite difficult. I had to suppress feelings of anger, frustration and guilt to transport her to church despite the every other negative feeling throughout the week. You see, loving someone when everything is right is perfect and easy, but loving the person when you have problems with is what makes it mystical. Today as I write this article, I have had major rifts with my mother, and so do my siblings so this mother’s day is a bit difficult for us to celebrate but you know what is amazing? I have been thinking of the way Christ loved us despite everything, and the prodigal son’s parable expresses this succinctly.

Today however, I would like to tell my mother that despite the fact that she annoys me majority of the time I would like to tell her that despite the differences I love her pretty much. So you know what, today I lay down my weapons and darts that I use in piercing her heart my whole life. But honestly won’t it be nice if I celebrated mother’s day today and every other day . . . .  My Grandma would gladly welcome this cease fire. . . . But on second thought what would Hearts be doing in the league without Kotoko? Aluta continua, victoria acerta . 

Signed with love

Donn.

Julius, a young music director also in observing this day wrote “This day brings to mind a pool of memories considering the many mothers I had per the circumstances of my life” as he recounts a series of events in the growing phase of his life where elderly women mostly mothers played a vital role in his upbringing, ranging from the administering of aids in the forms of shelter, food and payment of school fees to the fervent prayers they invested in his life. This brings to our notice an important aspect of motherhood which includes recognizing women who played important roles in our lives as mothers and celebrate them accordingly.

Let us together with Julius and a rather controversial but honest Donn, join in the celebration of mothers not only for the sake of our biological mothers but all the women who at some point in our lives assumed the role of mother.

We refer to them as ‘Mother’ but I choose to call them the ‘Men’ Of The Home Experiencing Reality (MOTHER).

Happy Mother’s Day! To the all the actual ‘Men’ Of The Home Experiencing Reality. We love and appreciate all mothers.

Originally written by the Members of the Dogbey League

A Special thanks to Julius and Donn for sharing their experiences with us.