THE ABC’s OF MY LOVE LIFE

Prelude:

(A standing ovation and a loud applause filled the air as the last but one contestant of the final phase of the annual African Woman competition concluded her presentation)

(As the performer exited the stage, a strange figure mounts it holding a microphone)

(The applause minimizes and everyone stared helplessly at this young lady in tattered clothing)

(Everyone wondered? Was this an act? “Where the hell is that pot-bellied security guard?!” An audience yelled)

(The security detail of Her Highness the Queen-mother moved towards her seat at the front of the audience so as to shield her from any happenings.)

(The young lady didn’t bother to introduce herself but yelled out a name; as if to call on someone in the audience. The audience froze in their seats and were caught in an unusual dilemma; to either run for their lives or run for their lives)

Akwasi!

(She screams and continues)

That! is the name of my childhood lover.

Beginning

(She continued)

We had begun nursing what I would later call a love affair

Choice

I chose him and his wants over me and my desires.

Dead!

That was how I felt towards myself as I lived solely to please the only man I ever loved.

(She had now gotten the undistracted attention of everyone there present)

(The audience also noticed the alphabetical order with which she presented her narrative) (Every audience guessed what the letter E might represent.)

(Perhaps, “Easy”, a lady with a strange hairdo thought)

(“Excruciating” a thought from the mind of a professor)

(Everyone was expectant)

Ecstasy!

(She said with a smile)

An exotic word to describe the love we shared. Permit me however, our love affair was beyond my fantasies. Beyond my imaginations! Gosh! I was the luckiest lady in the world!

Friend

I needed no one. He was what you would call a best friend. In fact, he represented my entire world

("Awwwwww..." The audience uttered as they shared in her memories)

Guilt!

I then discovered that, all along, the so called “love” he showed me was out of sheer guilt! He felt sorry for me and did not want to jilt me because he knew I loved him and figured I might not be able to do without him.

(The audience didn’t see this coming. “At G and your relationship is already screwed? Like seriously?!!” A young man in a blue-coloured jacket thought out loud)

Hurt!

(Now the audience had come to terms with her choice of clothing)

My fears deepened and all I could feel was hurt. My once lover boy turned abusive.

Internet

My only friend, whom I resorted to with the help of its countless relatives including Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, reading topics on How to please a man and the many hows of saving a dying relationship.

(The audience nodded their heads in agreement; A gesture to affirm her submission as they were or might have fallen victim of such)

Joy!

Yes! I felt it once again when he apologized for his actions and inactions.

(“Why is this young lady toying with our emotions? Couldn’t the letter J stand for Judgement or Justice? The guy is treating you unfairly for Christ’s sake!” A rather attentive audience commented with vengeance in his eyes)

Kenkey

His favourite food. And that evening we used it as a meal to signify our reunion. Call it a Kenkey boutique for here I was shopping for the second-hand clothing of love from my own lover. But who cared if it were second-hand?! My lover was back for good!!

(She manages to steal a chuckle from the Queen-mother whose attention was glued to her the entire time. The audience couldn’t help it either)

(She pauses; as though to give Her Highness the Queen-mother some time to round up her smile)

(With tears in her eyes and pain lingering in her voice she screams)

Lust!

I noticed this come-back was not for love’s sake for all he desired afterwards was my skirt! I do hope you understand.

(Everyone was dumbfounded. The Queen-mother looked searchingly on the stage as if to find Akwasi)

Mad!

Now, a desperate me began to feel used and disrespected. I was furious!

(A lady in the audience shouted “Yes! You damn right girl! You go girl!! We got you!!!”)

Nudes

As if to add insult to injury, all he asked of me were pictures of me naked.

(She bowed her head in shame)

He even insisted I excluded my face as its ugliness may distract the pleasure he sought from the pictures.

(She recounted painfully)

But I declined and considered an end to this emotional torment.

The Queen-mother whispers something in the ear of one of her servants; as though instructing him to command her warriors to behead every male by name Akwasi on her land)

Opportunity

(She continued)

I had an option, when a new guy approached me promising to show me the love, we both knew Akwasi was denying me. But on second thought, I opted to first learn to love my self.

(“I love that about you! Excellent choice! I tell them that all the time. They just will not listen!” A gentleman yelled from behind. He was well dressed. Perhaps he was a marriage counsellor. “Bravo!” He exclaimed as he continued to clap)

Pain!

That was when I took the pain to leave his sorry ass! Pardon my language but I couldn’t find any phrase in the dictionary best suited to describe the disgust I felt towards the man I once loved and cherished.

(Tears running down the face of almost every lady in the audience; as if to say “we’ve been there sister!”)

Quarantined

I withdrew myself from everyone who mattered to me and hid in a dark room to embark on a journey I had denied myself for years. A journey in search of the I in me. A journey to find my true self.

(“Good!” yelled the professor who had picked up his eyeglasses as if to see clearly, the words coming out of the mouth of this young lady)

Result

I’m guessing you’d want to know if I succeeded in finding my self.

(The audience chorused; “We want to know!”)

(Now smiling through her tears)

The answer is a resounding YES! Of course I did!

(The audience stood up and cheered! Clapping and shouting!)

Selfbian!

The dictionary once again lacked a word to describe my new self.

(The professor gestured; as if to say “Try me, I will give you that word or phrase immediately”)

Because if I tell you how I felt towards myself, society would have referred to me as a lesbian if it was towards another lady. I loved myself so much so that I wanted to get married to me. What will society call that then?!

(She looks directly in the eyes of the professor who dodges the gaze quickly so not to disgrace himself)

(She saves him the trouble and continued)

Selfbianism perhaps.

(The professor nodded in agreement. With a you-read-my-mind look on his face)

Time

I realised I had wasted the youthful years of my life being a man pleaser. And here I was, in search of lost time. I took to poetry. To express what I had experienced and to renovate a talent I had abandoned for the sake of love.

(Someone uttered a not-so-loud “True!”)

Union

I built a deep relationship with God. And I must say it was beyond mere churching. I was earnestly seeking spirituality.  

(A pastor who had been following this presentation jumped on his feet and shouted “Ha-lle-lu Yah!! The audience replied in one accord “Amen!” The Queen-mother couldn’t help but say same as her linguist stared at her mischievously)

Voice

So I decide to tell the world my story. To be the strength and voice of the unsaid stories of relationships sailing on the seas of pain, torment and hurt.

(A woman whom was later identified as a delegate from WAJU ( Women and Juvenile Unit) stood to give this young presenter a standing ovation with a clap)

Woman

Yes that’s what I call myself now! A woman! Not a rag! Nor a plaything! But a woman! An African woman for that matter!

(Every lady audience stood to applaud her)

X’s

I do not believe in the concept of keeping count of exes. I was so done with Akwasi and I believed giving him a title as my ex was too much to ask. Although I do not deny the fact that he taught me the biggest lesson of my life: To learn to love my self. Only his tactic was flawed.

(A young student exclaimed “Yawa oo!  Chai! Akwasi,you do yawa big time!”)

(The pot-bellied security guard approached him and asked that he kept his mouth shut)

(The Queen-mother’s servant had returned and handed the Queen-mother the Kente cloth she had requested for)

(The Queen mounted the stage with the Kente cloth in her hand)  

(The audience hailed the Queen-mother as she dressed this young presenter in the perfectly-woven and brightly-coloured Kente cloth. Only then did her true beauty surface. She was a beautiful lady with the body of a model and the charm of a princess)

(Everyone cheered as the Queen-mother gave her a hug and exited the stage)

(Now the room was filled with joy and applause)

(The gentlemen took out their phones to take a picture of a lady they now admired and found attractive)

Yvonne!

(She voiced out confidently with her face beaming with smiles)

Pardon my bad courtesy, to not have introduced myself to you earlier.

(The audience nodded in a manner to mean that no one had taken offense)

Yvonne happens to be my English name. I recall it was the name Akwasi also called me. Honestly I didn’t enjoy the luxury of the myriad pet names including; "baby, honey, boo or bae", not even the primitive "my sweet pawpaw".

(The stone-faced linguist couldn’t help but break protocol to have his fair share of a good laugh)

That notwithstanding,

(She paused)

(Paid homage to Her Highness and continued her speech)

It is obvious I have now found myself and do love me for me. With this beautifully woven Kente as a gift from Her Highness the Queen-mother of our land, I’d rather you; and I mean everyone seated here, including my future husband wherever he may be, address me as Nana Yaa Kyerewaa Sackey I; Queen-mother of my life and a proud member of TDL (The Dogbey League).

(The applause lasted for minutes as the captivated audience stood, awaiting her representation of the last letter of the alphabet; Z)

Z!

(She exclaimed)

Well…

(She began)

I actually have no description for the letter Z as it marks the end of life’s journey. I’m hoping to find a better representation of Z should we meet in the afterlife.

(She pauses, takes a deep breath and continues)

I am quite certain it will represent the zeal with which I plan to overcome life’s countless challenges going forward.

I have presented to you the ABC’s of my love life.

Thank you for your audience!

Thank you Nana for this amazing Kente fabric. May you live long!

Thank you TDL for empowering the course of the African Woman!

Thank you my distinguished audience!

Epilogue: 

(The audience were full of praise for this young lady)

(A rather deafening applause and a standing ovation lasted for a record time of 15 minutes as she exits the stage)

Story created by;

Atsu Dogbey

A member of TDL