Mama @ 60

She was a young lady full of life and hope for the future. She embraced life in its essence, accompanying her mother to sell boiled beans with fried plantains to her many customers. Her mother, my grandmother did not joke with her business. She single-handedly forced men as thick and tall as Goliath to pay for what they purchased if they refused – or so she told me. Her daughter was beautiful, serving as the head girl of her school back in the day won her many admirers. Something Daada – as my grandmother is usually called, would not have encouraged but for the compulsory purchase of her boiled beans she demanded of her daughter’s suitors. You had to purchase a bowl of boiled beans as ticket to speak with her daughter. In addition to a few chores and countless words of “don’t dare touch my daughter!” counsel.

Among her many suitors was one of equal social standing. The head boy of a school in a nearby village. He happened to also win the stubborn heart of Daada and was allowed the opportunity to spend time with her daughter although the forced purchases and chores continued unabated. He purchased the meal and carried out the chores nonetheless. Daada was a ruthless business woman. “If Romeo died for love, purchasing a bowl of beans every day for love’s sake would have been Romeo’s dying wish”, he thought. He frequented Daada’s eatery and had become more or less a family friend. He even walked miles to fetch water for Daada who uses her old age as an excuse to send the younger men in the town on errands. But for her daughter, the young men declined.

They had both served their term as heads and left behind a legacy. Koku made a vow to keep her for life. They were what one would term birds of a feather. Daada’s daughter was a pampered child back in the day – although she refutes this claim to this day, Daada always insisted she was. Daada did not allow her to do much. So she had enough time to nurture her relationship with Koku. However life in the village grew tough and Daada, together with her husband, Paapa and family migrated to the city.

Koku was heartbroken. He also lost his father a few months later. Sensing he was on his own and inspired by love, he journeyed to the city to rekindle his love for his sweetheart and to continue his education. He sought the blessings of Daada and Paapa and married their beautiful daughter. Their first beautiful child followed thereafter. His heir followed suit, his favourite and finally his most cherished twins.

Koku had to pursue his dream fervently so he could provide the needed comfort for his sweetheart and family. He was reassigned to his village to work as a teacher - an enviable job then. He chose to embark on this journey alone whereas his sweetheart groomed their children in her very image. He promised her that when his dream was done, he would settle finally with her to reminisce about old times. Koku visited her often as he was her lover and only friend.

Mama as she is affectionately called, lost herself in a bid to enable her children find themselves. She sacrificed all she could to honour the words of her lover. She groomed their children dutifully while she awaited the fulfilment of her lover’s promise. He had promised to settle down finally with her at age 60 so they could catch up on old times in the comfort of their own home. Koku worked harder and stopped at nothing to give his family and sweetheart the best. He had a lot to do before age 60. Nothing sweetened his heart more than a sincere admiration from his lover. Koku fulfilled an aspect of the promise by building her a lovely house. The other aspect was to bid a final goodbye to the working world which he was looking forward to rather reluctantly. Their children had indeed benefited from the nurturing of Mama, Daada and uncles as well as aunties. They were an enviable sight to behold. Everyone praised Mama for a good job done. 

Mama checked her calendar for the umpteenth time and realised it was almost a month after which her lover and friend would wash his hands off work and settle with her forever. They have both fulfilled each other’s promise without blemish. It was their pay age. The age they had spent their lives working towards. Finally they would live the life they had postponed together. They were both eager and expectant. Mama made no friends and her children were her only source of joy in Koku’s absence. If life had to be enjoyed, she did, with her kids, husband and family. She would, on a daily basis spend long hours on the phone talking to her lover and friend. A moment they both cherished. 

Koku called in one morning to complain of an ailment. Mama who could not wait for her lover to return to her in good health, sought immediate medical attention for him. Koku had to spend the much awaited moment with her in peace, definitely not in pieces. He had a month more to turn 60. Koku regained his health but was not discharged based on doctor’s counsel. An ardent teacher, Koku reached out for his pen – something he always carried on him and set out to mark a few examination scripts on the hospital bed. Mama who desperately wanted Koku back home with her prayed fervently to God for the life of her lover and friend. He had missed a lot and she couldn’t wait to tell him everything once they had settled.

Koku finally turned 60 and Mama’s joy was beyond compare. She readjusted her schedules in preparation for her new life with her lifetime sweetheart. Her joy however was short-lived. She was told by the doctor that Koku had embarked on a journey to a faraway land. He had not taken her along for reasons best known to him. Mama could not come to terms with the news and broke into wild tears. Nobody could comfort her. Not even her children who were equally saddened by their father’s unintended travel. Mama’s tears however were not for the journey Koku had embarked on but for the chances of his return - absolutely no chance. Koku, after sacrificing his life for this age, chose to take the first bus out of town. Her lover and friend Koku was lost to her forever.

She had sacrificed her youth for age 60. She had groomed her kids to be independent so she could spend ample time with Koku at age 60. She had marked the dates on all the calendars year after year in preparation for age 60.

She looked at Koku who had now become a handsome face printed on a booklet detailing his life and lamented amidst her tears. “Koku, you have done well for us but we had planned for this age together. We sacrificed our lives for this age. I have no other plans after age 60 so to make up for your absence, I will continually speak to the Almighty God whom I believe is keeping you for me. I know you will hear me whenever I speak to Lord. Fare thee well my Koku.”

Mama was almost 60 at the time. She had transitioned into an unplanned phase of her life. It was too late to set out new plans and she continually spoke to God in prayer hoping Koku would hear her pray. Her children were in their prime searching for love, purpose and a future. Mama spent most of her time beside herself. Under the spell of loneliness the cold lips of life had cast upon her. Staring into the blank, she sometimes converses with one only she could see - perhaps it was her lover and friend Koku, her comforter God or just another imaginary friend. Even Mama herself could hardly figure that out.

She reads her calendar and discovers she would be turning 60 in a few months. “Mama at 60!” she said to herself. Before her 60^th anniversary is Mother’s Day. Mama hoped her children would visit home and gather around her in a bid to honour her for a job well done, as it was a family norm. In the eyes of her children she would see her love Koku once again, only this time in 5 persons – Xornam, Xorsenyo, Xorlasi, Xorlali and Xorla. This reassured her and she believed that Koku in his new and myriad form would continually wipe away her tears and listen to all the stories she has to share. 

Happy Mother’s Day Mama!

Happy Birthday in Advance Mama!

This is the story of my mother. Kindly permit your mother to tell you her story as everyone desires to be listened to. Spend this season solely with mother and if possible forgive her for all her wrongs and praise her for all her rights. Let her know that her pain in raising you is not vain. Be her friend, be tolerant, let her know you love and cherish her. Above all, listen to her and put a smile on Mama’s face this season.

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers!

God bless you!

Warmest Regards,

Atsu Dogbey.

(A Member of TDL)